Work in Progress
This page is where I bring together everything I offer in service of community. Among friends, I call what I do "social work." More formally, I describe myself as a practitioner or provider — language that can sound clinical, but which I learned early on as a way to stay grounded, to help without losing myself, and to remain emotionally and mentally intact.
If any part of what you read here resonates and calls to you — get in touch. We can work together to co-create something new. It will need a name, and that name will be yours to find.
Who I Am and What I Bring
Over the years I have trained in a wide range of disciplines: yoga and meditation instruction, tantric and orthodox massage, family constellation facilitation, somatic sex education, and tantric experience work. I have also learned a great deal from my own life — including years of creating adult content, which taught me more about myself than I ever expected. It forced me to examine the judgements I carry, the stories I tell myself, the lies I overlook, and the deeper questions: how much intimacy do I actually need, and when does that become unhealthy? Am I serving my clients' needs, or primarily my own? Am I charging fairly, or from a place of unmet need?
These are not comfortable questions, but they are the right ones.
On Change and Self-Acceptance
I have had to go through radical shifts to stop fighting my own nature — an ever-changing, restless personality that I used to struggle against. The creature I once called "I'm not in the mood" left a long time ago. I prefer to act rather than react. I am not infallible, and I genuinely welcome my mistakes — they have an honest place in my life. Some I'll resolve when I have the resources. Others may simply stay with me.
My sense of personal "container" and boundaries is something I audit constantly — shaped and reshaped by social norms, cultural noise, and the relentless pressure of social media. We have forgotten what we are. We are not simply a body with eyes and ears, storing stress and emotion like data on a hard drive. The body holds everything — and through somatic work, it will tell you exactly what it knows, if you learn to ask it in the right way.
The Language of the Body
Connecting with feelings and emotions can take years for some people. But the body has its own language, and once a person learns to listen to it, they discover an entirely new inner universe — multi-dimensional, rich, and already theirs. When someone genuinely understands their body, their needs, and their trauma — and learns to look at that trauma from a different angle — they often find they no longer need the same support they once depended on.
I am an overthinker myself. I am told regularly that life is simple, and that I complicate it. That may be true. But I am aware of it, and awareness is where everything begins. Making mistakes and learning from them is how I see the world more clearly — not a failure, but a process.
Chemsex: What It Is and Why It Hooks Gay Men
Chemsex — sex under the influence of specific substances such as mephedrone, GHB/GBL, and crystal meth — has fundamentally changed the landscape of gay sex and club culture. As a gay man, I have watched this shift happen up close.
The reasons gay men become drawn in are rarely simple. At the surface, chemsex removes inhibition, amplifies sensation, and dissolves the shame and performance anxiety that many gay men carry — often from years of internalised homophobia, rejection, or trauma. For someone who has never felt fully free in their body or sexuality, the first experience can feel like a revelation.
But underneath that are deeper hooks: loneliness, disconnection, a hunger for intimacy that sober life hasn't provided. Substances create a sense of profound closeness and acceptance — and in a community where emotional vulnerability between men is still rarely modelled, that feeling becomes powerfully addictive. Sessions can last days. Boundaries dissolve. The comedown strips away everything the high provided, leaving shame, anxiety, and craving in its place.
The cycle is self-reinforcing. Sober sex begins to feel impossible. Connection outside of that context starts to feel out of reach. And the community spaces that once offered alternatives — sober dance nights, social gatherings, embodied workshops — have largely disappeared or become hard to find.
I miss the Friday evenings when people would come together to dance freely, without substances, and simply celebrate being alive in a body. That possibility still exists, but it requires intention to seek it out.
On ED, Pleasure, and Expanding What Sex Can Be
A man experiencing erectile dysfunction can discover a vast landscape of physical pleasure once he sets aside the limiting belief that sex requires performance. Staying curious, introducing change, and taking responsibility for your own wellbeing opens a third dimension of erotic expression. There are as many ways to find satisfaction as there are people — with or without ED, the invitation is the same: find your way, with honest support around you.
Books alone rarely change lives. Regular, small steps with a practitioner who can meet you where you are — that moves things.
Closing
Some people have only seen the side of me I showed on adult content platforms. But the real, vulnerable version was always there too — not waiting for the right moment to appear, but present throughout the whole process.
The moment I accepted myself as a sexual being — and understood that sex is a tool for connection on many levels, that genitals are just one of many entry points, and that a sexual encounter is a canvas for feelings, emotions and catharsis — something shifted permanently. Feelings could move. Needs could be heard. Magic became possible.
If traditional approaches haven't worked for you, look for alternatives. Keep your eyes open, stay close to your own soul, and trust the "strong yes" your body already knows.
Edited 25Feb26